I realize this is a hell of my own making, but I’ve noticed a disturbing trend on my blog over the last week or so. Before I explain, allow me to sing the praises of my blog host. WordPress is a fantastic mecca of blogging goodness. They have terrific templates and some pretty sweet integration tools, but by far the statistical information I get is my favorite feature. I know how many people visit my blog every day. I know the websites that are referring my blog. I know which links they select on my blog, and I know which keywords they use to find my blog. It’s that last feature that both amuses me and worries me. People find my blog by typing some pretty bizarre keywords, some having to do with nudity, which has almost never been featured on my blog. I say “almost” because I did have a picture of Jeff Goldblum without his shirt on (the picture above) last week. It was part of my tribute to Jeff for being a celebrity who didn’t die.
Here’s the disturbing thing. For the last couple of days, some sick people have been discovering my blog by typing “Jeff Goldblum Shirtless” into their favorite search engines. In the words of Jerry Seinfeld, “What is wrong with these people?” Have I unleashed a Jeff Goldblum shirtless fetish? If so, I deeply apologize to society in its entire. Seeing Jeff Goldblum shirtless should not be the hopes and dreams of any young or old web surfer. If this is one of your deepest desires, please check yourself into a 12 step program immediately. So far, the number of people using the search term “Jeff Goldblum Shirtless” has been relatively small, but nevertheless, one person with the desire to see him shirtless is one too many.
If this becomes a trend, I’m seriously going to have to reconsider my “Awkward Actors Without Shirts” series that I had planned for the blog. Now you may never get to see Jason Schwartzman sans his man’s blouse. I won’t be responsible for letting loose that untoward fixation onto the world. No, sir! Not me! Never!